I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
