dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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