She's JV to your varsity
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
