If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
