He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize