i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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