pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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