Kareoke will never be a sober sport
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
