good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
