Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
