That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
