drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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