But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
