we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
