Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
