you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
