Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
