Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize