Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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