the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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