Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
