im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize