The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize