I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
so much tequila, so little girl.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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