I want to walk on stilts...naked
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
