i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
