this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
