My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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