Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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