It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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