if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
