It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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