ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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