You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
