why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
