It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
