My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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