I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
