This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
