ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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