How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Still dying that you shit outside
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
