I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
