Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
