Nicole vs. Life
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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