Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
