His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
