There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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