I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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