I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
