The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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