worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
