My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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