I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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