We're facebook friends in real life
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
