i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Blood and glitter go together right?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize