do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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