tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
