Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
