My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
