At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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