I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
