i just made my gag reflex go away.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
