about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize